Seattle Journey Reflection

The army sent families to Seattle for the 4th yellow ribbon event. This was to share with us what to expect when our men and women come back. So with that said, this is my reflection on the weekend.

I think overall it was a pretty good weekend. i got to see some true colors of people both good and bad. There was great information given and some bonds made. However I think it made me even more anxious for Brad to come home. I think its appalling that people treat others the way they do. Everyone deserves respect from others, regardless of who you are. That was something i witnessed first hand. It's amazing the amount of disrespect OF other army people BY army people. We all go through our releases differently, but that doesn't mean people deserve it.
This makes me even more eager to get Brad and every other solider home. We all miss them and are anxious, nervous, heck even scared. I am ready to start the process of him home. The re-adjustment, getting to know each other again phase. I've felt through this deployment single, with a beautiful diamond ring on my finger. But there are too many times that I feel like I am alone with this amazing man of mine on the other side of the world. Kinda strange that you can feel the two extremes at the same time. I know I'm not alone. I have great friends in both Billings and Seattle, but I have a void in my life. No one can fill it but Brad.
There was a comment made in closing on Sunday morning. Army families, any military family is unlike any other family out there. We can get through just about anything that is thrown at us. There are women out there who have admitted to me that they don't know how I do it, being separated from my husband for LONG periods of time. Some women have a hard time being away from their loved ones for a few days or weeks. When Brad signed up for the army, so did I. When I accepted his proposal for marriage, I signed up for the army. I knew what I was getting myself into. I just never envisioned it to be like this. I am thankful for my support network I have, but I have many moments of weakness, vulnerability, anger and frustration. I try hard to stay positive by saying that we will get through this as stronger people, but its hard to stay positive and happy all the time. it's exhausting.
I've learned through this deployment how to stand on my own two feet, hold my own and take care of myself. i am currently in the process of moving out of our house we were renting into another place. I didn't think it'd be hard to pack up Brads things, but it is. I feel like he is gone, almost like you would when you break up with a boyfriend. pack up all of his things and leave it on his door step. only this time I have to take this other person's things with me. It's harder than I thought.
My 'little sister' ( not so little anymore ) is turning 21 in just a few days. holy smokes, when did that happen. I'm sad that I wont be there to celebrate with her but I know she is with good people who will show her a good time. That's been a hard part of moving and getting married. your friendships change, YOU change. that however is another thing I 'signed up' for, so i can't really complain.
The break downs have become fewer and further between. I do still welcome the release because it feels good, but it's always after the matter. I cry because I am lonely, because I'm sad. I cry because my best friend for the past 5 years and the rest of my life is 12,000 miles away and we get to talk on HIS time. its been hard to not have him here to talk to when I want. to fill him in on the news of the life of Megan. NEWS FLASH though. As soon as I get used to doing something on my own, he will be home and I'll have to learn it all over again. It's a joint responsibility.
I am never in this alone, but I feel alone.

That's all for now. I feel better now that I've shared to the 3 of you who actually read this! :-)

happy new year

I had to share this because I am bursting at the seams with happiness. With 4 minutes left till the stroke of midnight . . . my cell phone rings. Guess who it was??
my wonderful husband had made it just in time to bring in the new year on MY side of the world. lol. I spent the evening with Nicole and her wonderful family. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It was a perfect night full of games, laughter and friends coming together.

I just wanted to share how special my husband made me feel tonight. he put a perma smile on my face for the next few days!! :-) I am one very happy girl.

Happy New Year!!