Brad and I made a somewhat unexpected trip out to Seattle this past week. It was originally to welcome our 2nd niece into this world, Rahab Elaine Ireland. Then, on December 30th my mom found my grandmother in her apartment on the floor. Nonnie had fallen and broken her other hip and was stuck on the ground for what we think was a day or two. My mom got her to the ER as soon as she could and Nonnie was prepped for surgery on her other hip to be replaced. It was a mere 45 minutes after her surgery that she seized ( her heart stopped ) for 5 minutes. They got her back, but had to put tubes down her throat to help her breath and stay alive. The tubes were removed on Monday and she wasn't expected to do very well after they were removed. She proved us wrong for sure. She did pretty good, and then was put on oxygen to assist her. I arrived on Tuesday night to meet Nonnie at the hospital where she was in and out of sleeping. As soon as I walked into the room, I knew this was going to be hard. This was the first time I had seen this wonderful woman in my life without any teeth in. lol. I held on to her hand and she sort of woke up, enough to see who I was and hear me talk to her. I always kissed Nonnie on the head and told her I loved her, so I just that. It's hard to smile without any teeth, but I'd like to think that she smiled at me. I do regret crying each time she opened her eyes to see me. I wish that one of the last times she saw me wasn't crying. But I shouldn't have any regrets. I spent as much time with her as I could.
It was sort of an eventful time at the hospital, as Auburn General Medical Center showed their true colors when caring for my grandmother. We won't get into any of those details, but I wouldn't go back there. EVER.
Brad was able to make it out on Wednesday morning and we went to see Nonnie. This was the day that I had to say my goodbyes because she wouldn't be alert for the rest of the time i spent with her. This was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. The only thing that comes close is seeing Brad off to war when we left New York for his 4 day pass. I however knew I would see him in a few short months. I won't see Nonnie for another 50+ years. But the heartbreak of saying goodbye to someone who you love dearly and has watched you grow up was so incredibly difficult. Nonnie didn't leave us till Saturday morning, but she fought till the very end. She was a terribly stubborn woman who never excepted no for an answer. After we took her completely off oxygen she started breathing just fine on her own. As we continued to check her heart rate and breathing we discovered that her heart was super strong and pumping just fine and her breathing was fantastic for what she had been through. She was a fighter through and through.
I made my peace with saying goodbye to her on Wednesday and then made the choice to then be there for my own mother. I can't imagine what she is going through and the hurt she is enduring.
Needless to say, it has been an eventful week that I've had. I'm thankful for lots of things however. In my time to sort of collect my thoughts, I've discovered how lucky I am to have a supportive husband who has loved on me and let me just cry. I was blessed to have precious memories of Nonnie and so happy that she got to witness me marry my best friend and got to know him a little bit. I'm so happy that she knew happiness and the love that her daughter and grand daughter have for her. I have so many fabulous memories with my mom and Nonnie. One impaticular on our way up to Canada. Eggo's and ham for breakfast. Her famous "oops!". The fact that she never wanted to lose her independence, no matter what the cost. She was such a strong woman and I am soo happy to be her grand-daughter. :-)
On monday morning my mom and i went through old family photos. Nonnie lived a pretty darn good life. She taught herself to drive after Jack Aker died, she traveled, she shoveled snow when it was bitterly cold in Laramie Wyoming. She bought a PT cruiser. She got to see her grand children grow up and see what adventures we embarked on.
I've decided that it was a good thing she passed when she did. Had she lived through this, she would have been stuck in a wheelchair or bed-ridden and she would have hated that. She also would have a fair amount of brain damage and wouldn't be the same Nonnie we know and love. So now we are celebrating her life. :-)
I will always and forever love my Nonnie. No one could come close to replacing this wonderful woman who was in my life.
I love you Nonnie.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Good bye Nonnie
I lost my grandmother today, Saturday January 7th around 9:30. She was a terribly stubborn woman who never knew when to give up. She lived 91 amazing years and had many great experiences. She was a wonderful grandmother and someone to whom I looked up to. I have many fond memories of her and with her.
More to come when I get home to billings.
More to come when I get home to billings.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
What a wonderful holiday season
I've been reflecting a lot lately on what my life was like last year at this time, and what I'm doing this year.
Last year on Halloween, I think I stayed home . . . or went to a family get together with my friend Tracy. I made it to the local corn maze with my friend Debbie for her son's birthday. It was fun, but I wasn't with Brad.
Last year, I spent thanksgiving with 3 other Army women at a cabin and it was the best thanksgiving I'd ever had.
Last Christmas I flew home and spent 3 weeks with my parents and a few days with Brads. It was nice, but I sure was missing my husband and majorly bummed that we didn't get to spend our first married christmas together.
He however surprised me on New Years Eve. I was over at Nicole's house spending time with her and her family and my phone was attatched to my hand, eagerly awaiting a phone call from Brad. With minutes before the clock struck midnight on MY side of the world, I got a phone call from Brad and he helped me bring in the new year in Seattle. It was an amazing new years eve!!
So far this year, spending halloween, thanksgiving and soon enough Christmas and New Years with Brad has been GREAT!! We got candy for trick or treaters but we weren't sure if we'd have any, so once 9 pm came around, we went down to the local bar and had a few beers. My kind of halloween! :-)
We made it a point to go to the corn maize this year and we made it through in record time for us! I think it was 39 minutes . . . it was a hard maize!!
Thanksgiving snuck up on us quickly but we were ready to spend it together. Our first Thanksgiving together, as husband and wife! :-) We didn't get the turkey as soon as I'd like, but I left that big part up to Brad. He wanted to fix the turkey this year, so I let him and it turned out perfectly! We filled our average size kitchen table with all of our favorite thanksgiving fixin's. Brad told me that he had no problem fixing all of this food because last year, he ate his thanksgiving dinner out of a styrafoam container and then worked his late night shift. So this year, after we said what we were thankful for, he just looked at his plate and smiled from ear to ear. This is what he had been waiting for. Sitting next to his wife, in his home, eating a wonderful home cooked meal. It's those small pleasures in life that we take for granted most of the time.
A few days later, we went to pick up our first christmas tree as well. I don't think I've been THAT excited for christmas in a very long time, probably since I was a small child. I've never had a real christmas tree and Brad made a promise to me that the first christmas we get to spend together, we will get a real christmas tree, one that I have to water and everything! So we did that. We went to Lowes one night after I got off work and picked out our first tree. This is when I had my smile from ear to ear. We tied it down to the top of my little honda and drove it across town, stuck it in our elevator and took it to the 5th floor! We put lights on it and all of our childhood ornaments are hanging proudly! We had to do this early because Brad was scheduled for some Army training in California for two week, from Dec. 1st to the 16th and I wasn't going to wait for a tree!
I thought that the two weeks of Brad being gone would be a nice break for us . . . ya know, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, it worked. The first few days were kind of nice. Coming home and being able to watch as much "Say Yes To The Dress" as I want and have the WHOLE bed was nice, but that wore off pretty quick. I miss holding his hand and having someone to talk to when I get home from work. It's reminded me of how lonely I was last year at this time. Yes, I had great family and friends by my side, but none of them could fill the void that Brad fills for me.
We've been discussing what we want to get each other for christmas and on the way to church the other morning, I said to myself "I have my husband home for the holidays, that's a gift in it's self" . . . so I might just tell Brad that all I want is to sit by his side and spend quality time with him. He could shower me with gifts, but its nice to just spend time with him, time that was taken away from us for 350 some odd days. The fact that he came home to me safe, with 2 arms, 2 legs and everything else is amazing. He has adapted back into civilian life very well, a whole lot better than I thought he would.
There is a lot to be thankful for this holiday season and I'm just so happy to have my husband by my side!
Last year on Halloween, I think I stayed home . . . or went to a family get together with my friend Tracy. I made it to the local corn maze with my friend Debbie for her son's birthday. It was fun, but I wasn't with Brad.
Last year, I spent thanksgiving with 3 other Army women at a cabin and it was the best thanksgiving I'd ever had.
Last Christmas I flew home and spent 3 weeks with my parents and a few days with Brads. It was nice, but I sure was missing my husband and majorly bummed that we didn't get to spend our first married christmas together.
He however surprised me on New Years Eve. I was over at Nicole's house spending time with her and her family and my phone was attatched to my hand, eagerly awaiting a phone call from Brad. With minutes before the clock struck midnight on MY side of the world, I got a phone call from Brad and he helped me bring in the new year in Seattle. It was an amazing new years eve!!
So far this year, spending halloween, thanksgiving and soon enough Christmas and New Years with Brad has been GREAT!! We got candy for trick or treaters but we weren't sure if we'd have any, so once 9 pm came around, we went down to the local bar and had a few beers. My kind of halloween! :-)
We made it a point to go to the corn maize this year and we made it through in record time for us! I think it was 39 minutes . . . it was a hard maize!!
Thanksgiving snuck up on us quickly but we were ready to spend it together. Our first Thanksgiving together, as husband and wife! :-) We didn't get the turkey as soon as I'd like, but I left that big part up to Brad. He wanted to fix the turkey this year, so I let him and it turned out perfectly! We filled our average size kitchen table with all of our favorite thanksgiving fixin's. Brad told me that he had no problem fixing all of this food because last year, he ate his thanksgiving dinner out of a styrafoam container and then worked his late night shift. So this year, after we said what we were thankful for, he just looked at his plate and smiled from ear to ear. This is what he had been waiting for. Sitting next to his wife, in his home, eating a wonderful home cooked meal. It's those small pleasures in life that we take for granted most of the time.
A few days later, we went to pick up our first christmas tree as well. I don't think I've been THAT excited for christmas in a very long time, probably since I was a small child. I've never had a real christmas tree and Brad made a promise to me that the first christmas we get to spend together, we will get a real christmas tree, one that I have to water and everything! So we did that. We went to Lowes one night after I got off work and picked out our first tree. This is when I had my smile from ear to ear. We tied it down to the top of my little honda and drove it across town, stuck it in our elevator and took it to the 5th floor! We put lights on it and all of our childhood ornaments are hanging proudly! We had to do this early because Brad was scheduled for some Army training in California for two week, from Dec. 1st to the 16th and I wasn't going to wait for a tree!
I thought that the two weeks of Brad being gone would be a nice break for us . . . ya know, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, it worked. The first few days were kind of nice. Coming home and being able to watch as much "Say Yes To The Dress" as I want and have the WHOLE bed was nice, but that wore off pretty quick. I miss holding his hand and having someone to talk to when I get home from work. It's reminded me of how lonely I was last year at this time. Yes, I had great family and friends by my side, but none of them could fill the void that Brad fills for me.
We've been discussing what we want to get each other for christmas and on the way to church the other morning, I said to myself "I have my husband home for the holidays, that's a gift in it's self" . . . so I might just tell Brad that all I want is to sit by his side and spend quality time with him. He could shower me with gifts, but its nice to just spend time with him, time that was taken away from us for 350 some odd days. The fact that he came home to me safe, with 2 arms, 2 legs and everything else is amazing. He has adapted back into civilian life very well, a whole lot better than I thought he would.
There is a lot to be thankful for this holiday season and I'm just so happy to have my husband by my side!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
What are YOU Thankful for?
What are you thankful for today? Are you Thankful for your family, your health, family or friends? I am thankful for all of the above. I am especially thankful to have my husband home with me this year to celebrate Thanksgiving. Last year, our first year of marriage, we had to do it on opposite sides of the world. This year, Brad decided he wanted to make the turkey and I'll do everything else.
We are thankful to just be together on this day of Thanks. I'm thankful for our health, the fact that I have a job, we have a roof over our head. I am thankful that we have each other and get to spend the rest of our lives together. I think we are both thankful for our wonderful parents that raised us with great values and standards.
I know that Brad is thankful that he is home this year and not eating thanksgiving dinner out of a styrafoam box and then working a 12 hour shift. I am thankful that he is home to spend it with me. Its amazing how fast a year can go by. This time last year, I was at a cabin with 3 other army ladies and we were having a great time. I am no longer friends with one of them, the other one has since had her son who turns 6 months today and Debbie is hosting her first thanksgiving at her house!
There is lots to be thankful for today . . . . :-)
We are thankful to just be together on this day of Thanks. I'm thankful for our health, the fact that I have a job, we have a roof over our head. I am thankful that we have each other and get to spend the rest of our lives together. I think we are both thankful for our wonderful parents that raised us with great values and standards.
I know that Brad is thankful that he is home this year and not eating thanksgiving dinner out of a styrafoam box and then working a 12 hour shift. I am thankful that he is home to spend it with me. Its amazing how fast a year can go by. This time last year, I was at a cabin with 3 other army ladies and we were having a great time. I am no longer friends with one of them, the other one has since had her son who turns 6 months today and Debbie is hosting her first thanksgiving at her house!
There is lots to be thankful for today . . . . :-)
Monday, October 24, 2011
Good Bye Grandpa!
The passing of my grandfather was a big one for me since it was my first grandparent to pass away. I'm however happy that he left us peacefully and not in a large amount of pain. He had been rushed to the ER too many times and was seeing doctors on a weekly basis. Not that my grandmother is happy to see her husband of nearly 60 years go, but I think it's a huge responsibility lifted off of her. For as long as I can remember, she has been taking care of my grandpa. I never saw my grandpa drive a car because he has always been in not as good health. Not sure if he couldn't see, or couldn't breathe, but he has always had health problems. Then as he got older, he got progressively worse. He wasn't able to make it to my wedding or my cousin Rachels. I know if he could have been there he would be. He was on an oxygen machine so flying was out of the question and driving was too difficult for him.
I learned a lot about my family with this trip to Reno. I learned why my father is the way he is, although I still haven't figured out why it's so hard to make him smile. My father is anal about his car and being cleaned and waxed. He also has a lot of his things in certain spots around the house. He has his own filing system. He LOVES jazz and the drums. My grandfather, although he couldn't drive took huge pride in his cars and having them immaculate. My grandfather, Wayne smith, was in a band where he played the trumpet. I learned that when my father was young, grandpa sat the 4 kids down and had them listen to the Dave Brubeck band and to a few certain songs. Those songs became famous and are now two of my favorite songs. Infact I'm sure they played at my wedding. I also learned that he is the one family member who started the infamous smith family tongue sticking out in pictures. Rachel and I have been given grief about taking pictures with our tounges sticking out for years. We always thought it was our uncle denis who started it. Nope. Now it's a tradition. Thank you grandpa!
Wayne lived a very full life and enjoyed smiling, which makes me wonder what happened to my dad. Lol. Not to say that my dad doesn't smile, but it's not too often you see a smile.
It's always nice to spend time with extended family. I enjoyed bringing brad along with me this time so they all got to meet him and get to know him a little bit better. I'm pretty sure brad and my uncle denis bonded over football while we were there. My cousin Rachel and I are wanting to drive down to Laramie to spend thanksgiving with my uncle denis so he isn't alone. Rachel and her husband Aaron live in Denver and it's a short drive to Laramie for them. It'd be a longer drive for brad and I but I think it's well worth it.
Brad and I stayed at circus circus which is downtown Reno. I grew up going to circus circus and getting my face painted and playing in the main area. I went back after not being there for years and it's far less impressive than I remember. It was so much bigger when I was 7!! Brad and I spent a few hours downstairs in the casino. I blew 10 bucks in the penny slots and brad sat down at a blackjack tables. We made probably 40 bucks over the 3 nights we went down there. Better than losing everything I suppose.
Over all it was a pretty good visit despite the circumstances. It was sad to see my grandfather pass, but I know that he isn't in anymore pain. He isn't itching. He doesn't have to be on oxygen machine. He won't run out of breathe walking 15 feet. He is in a better place and can watch over all of us!
Thank you grandpa for being who you are and giving me those awesome memories we made.
I learned a lot about my family with this trip to Reno. I learned why my father is the way he is, although I still haven't figured out why it's so hard to make him smile. My father is anal about his car and being cleaned and waxed. He also has a lot of his things in certain spots around the house. He has his own filing system. He LOVES jazz and the drums. My grandfather, although he couldn't drive took huge pride in his cars and having them immaculate. My grandfather, Wayne smith, was in a band where he played the trumpet. I learned that when my father was young, grandpa sat the 4 kids down and had them listen to the Dave Brubeck band and to a few certain songs. Those songs became famous and are now two of my favorite songs. Infact I'm sure they played at my wedding. I also learned that he is the one family member who started the infamous smith family tongue sticking out in pictures. Rachel and I have been given grief about taking pictures with our tounges sticking out for years. We always thought it was our uncle denis who started it. Nope. Now it's a tradition. Thank you grandpa!
Wayne lived a very full life and enjoyed smiling, which makes me wonder what happened to my dad. Lol. Not to say that my dad doesn't smile, but it's not too often you see a smile.
It's always nice to spend time with extended family. I enjoyed bringing brad along with me this time so they all got to meet him and get to know him a little bit better. I'm pretty sure brad and my uncle denis bonded over football while we were there. My cousin Rachel and I are wanting to drive down to Laramie to spend thanksgiving with my uncle denis so he isn't alone. Rachel and her husband Aaron live in Denver and it's a short drive to Laramie for them. It'd be a longer drive for brad and I but I think it's well worth it.
Brad and I stayed at circus circus which is downtown Reno. I grew up going to circus circus and getting my face painted and playing in the main area. I went back after not being there for years and it's far less impressive than I remember. It was so much bigger when I was 7!! Brad and I spent a few hours downstairs in the casino. I blew 10 bucks in the penny slots and brad sat down at a blackjack tables. We made probably 40 bucks over the 3 nights we went down there. Better than losing everything I suppose.
Over all it was a pretty good visit despite the circumstances. It was sad to see my grandfather pass, but I know that he isn't in anymore pain. He isn't itching. He doesn't have to be on oxygen machine. He won't run out of breathe walking 15 feet. He is in a better place and can watch over all of us!
Thank you grandpa for being who you are and giving me those awesome memories we made.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Life
Brad has been home for just over a month now and life is finally settling down. Watching him come off of that plane and find me in the crowd was the best moment and one that I had been waiting for. I got to show him our new home and it's growing on him.
We left for Seattle a few days after he got home and enjoyed just over two weeks with his family. It was great seeing the people who love Brad enjoy his company. We got to spend time with his two best friends, Croyle and Mitch. We spent lots of brotherly time with his oldest brother Greg and a few short but wonderful days with his middle brother Tim and his wife Kaley. On our way out of town, we spent a day or two with my folks and it was nice to just hang out. Getting to know Brad as my husband rather than just my boyfriend is different. So it was nice to have that time to chat.
When we got home, life started for us. We don't have an expiration date anymore. Before he left, we knew there was a date that he would be leaving, so we weren't living life the way we should have. We were dreading that day. So now that we don't have that, we get to be a normal married couple. It's hard learning to live with someone again. I am set in my way of living and he is set in his .. . then we have to learn how to meet in the middle. I suppose it's the trials of being a 'newlywed couple' . . learning everything over again.
My very good friend Nicole and her some Malachi were driving through Billings on there way from North Carolina to Seattle and stopped for a little visit. Nicole's husband, Peter, just left for Air Force bootcamp and this is hard for them being apart. I tried my hardest to comfort her and re-assure her that things will be alright. It's a fairly short time that he will be away, but any time away from your loved one isn't always easy. Peter will be gone for about 6 months, but then the real adventure will start for them. He will get assigned to a duty station and they'll start their military life! I'm so happy for them and know that they can get through it! :-)
I've been on the job hunt, but there aren't any takers yet. I was going apply to do some CNA training in October, but we need some sort of income sooner than that. So here is to hoping. I plan to do some seasonal work and then come January or February, when Brad is back in school, I'll do the training.
We've been hanging out with another married couple, the Wiser's. Zach and Ashley have the cutest little boy, Finnious and he absolutely adores me. You might remember me talking about Ashley and being close with her through most of her pregnancy. It's nice hanging out with another married couple who went through the same thing Brad and I did. Ashley and I got close during the deployment and we know what WE went through. Zach and Brad went through being over in Afghanistan together and know what each other went through. So it's nice to have those people that you have that commonality with who understand.
Yesterday, October 9th was the day that my grandfather, Wayne Smith, left us. I'm not really sure how to grieve this loss as I've never lost a grandparent till yesterday. I have my sad time where I just cry and Brad hugs me and comforts me. Then I have my time that I'm okay. This is going to be a roller-coaster of emotions this week. My grandma's church is putting on some sort of service for him later in the week, so Brad and I will be traveling to Reno to be with my extended family.
So within the past month, my husband has come home, we've driven to and from Seattle, my friend has come out to see us and my grandfather passed away. Life is always interesting for me . . . so stay tuned to see what's next!
We left for Seattle a few days after he got home and enjoyed just over two weeks with his family. It was great seeing the people who love Brad enjoy his company. We got to spend time with his two best friends, Croyle and Mitch. We spent lots of brotherly time with his oldest brother Greg and a few short but wonderful days with his middle brother Tim and his wife Kaley. On our way out of town, we spent a day or two with my folks and it was nice to just hang out. Getting to know Brad as my husband rather than just my boyfriend is different. So it was nice to have that time to chat.
When we got home, life started for us. We don't have an expiration date anymore. Before he left, we knew there was a date that he would be leaving, so we weren't living life the way we should have. We were dreading that day. So now that we don't have that, we get to be a normal married couple. It's hard learning to live with someone again. I am set in my way of living and he is set in his .. . then we have to learn how to meet in the middle. I suppose it's the trials of being a 'newlywed couple' . . learning everything over again.
My very good friend Nicole and her some Malachi were driving through Billings on there way from North Carolina to Seattle and stopped for a little visit. Nicole's husband, Peter, just left for Air Force bootcamp and this is hard for them being apart. I tried my hardest to comfort her and re-assure her that things will be alright. It's a fairly short time that he will be away, but any time away from your loved one isn't always easy. Peter will be gone for about 6 months, but then the real adventure will start for them. He will get assigned to a duty station and they'll start their military life! I'm so happy for them and know that they can get through it! :-)
I've been on the job hunt, but there aren't any takers yet. I was going apply to do some CNA training in October, but we need some sort of income sooner than that. So here is to hoping. I plan to do some seasonal work and then come January or February, when Brad is back in school, I'll do the training.
We've been hanging out with another married couple, the Wiser's. Zach and Ashley have the cutest little boy, Finnious and he absolutely adores me. You might remember me talking about Ashley and being close with her through most of her pregnancy. It's nice hanging out with another married couple who went through the same thing Brad and I did. Ashley and I got close during the deployment and we know what WE went through. Zach and Brad went through being over in Afghanistan together and know what each other went through. So it's nice to have those people that you have that commonality with who understand.
Yesterday, October 9th was the day that my grandfather, Wayne Smith, left us. I'm not really sure how to grieve this loss as I've never lost a grandparent till yesterday. I have my sad time where I just cry and Brad hugs me and comforts me. Then I have my time that I'm okay. This is going to be a roller-coaster of emotions this week. My grandma's church is putting on some sort of service for him later in the week, so Brad and I will be traveling to Reno to be with my extended family.
So within the past month, my husband has come home, we've driven to and from Seattle, my friend has come out to see us and my grandfather passed away. Life is always interesting for me . . . so stay tuned to see what's next!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
working till September :-)
This is GREAT news to me, that I'll be nannying till September 2nd or 3rd!
I thought that I wouldn't be working for the rest of the summer, so this is awesome news! Now Brad and I will have more funds for our Washington trip!
Speaking of our washington trip, it's all coming together. Still not sure about when we will be back because we don't have solid dates for when Brad gets home.
Life.Is.Good!!
I thought that I wouldn't be working for the rest of the summer, so this is awesome news! Now Brad and I will have more funds for our Washington trip!
Speaking of our washington trip, it's all coming together. Still not sure about when we will be back because we don't have solid dates for when Brad gets home.
Life.Is.Good!!
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