. . . and he is gone . . .

Tuesday could have been quite possibly the hardest day of my life yet. I think the pain might go along with losing a parent or spouse. Half of my heart right now is New Jersey and will be going to Kentucky on Sunday. I didn't know what to expect Tuesday when I took Brad to the unit to get on the bus. I knew I would cry. I knew I would be upset. I didn't think that when I woke up I would start crying, but that's what happened. I cried on the way to the unit, leaving him on the bus. Then we waited for the buses to leave. One of the soldiers talked with the airport and got it so families could come and see their loved ones off. There was a big caravan from the unit to the airport. Motorcycles blocked off side streets so no other traffic could get by. We all had our flashers on. There was a point on the way, that we went over one of the 3 hills in billings and on the way down, the sun was coming up, and I saw the caravan of cars with flashers on and it was the coolest thing to witness. It gave me chills. When we got to the airport, we had about an hr and a half till they had to get on the plane. It was a whirlwind. One moment, Brad and I were standing and enjoying ourselves and we got a 2 minute warning when the soldiers had to be in formation to get on the plane. yes, we had an hr and a half to say good-bye, but imagine having to say good-bye to this person you love to the ends of the earth in two minutes. It was so hard. I don't remember the last time I cried that hard.

Afterwords, I had two of the other wives over for coffee and tissues. lol I got to know Ashley Wiser a little bit better. She is a newly-wed wife as well. Even more newly-wed than Brad and I. Ashley and her husband Zach got married in June. She is such a sweet person and I've enjoyed getting to know her! I am confident that my relationship with Brad got me ready for being married to him.
In the 5ish years that we were dating, he traveled quite a bit. He lived in Spokane, Kansas for a few months, was in Alaska for a summer, lived up north for a summer, lived down at his parents a few times. I have gotten used to having MY life, and my Megan and Brad life. He essentially got me ready for being an Army wife! Thanks Brad.
With that said, Ashley hasn't been through that, so I've been helping her out in any way I can. She came over for dinner and we had a great time chatting and getting to know each other a little bit better! It's nice to know someone who is going through a similar experience that you can talk to and vent to! Thank you Ashley.

As for Tuesday after the wives left, I didn't want to do much of anything. I felt like I was going to vomit all day, I was tired but didn't want to sleep. So my great friend Tracy came over after work and we went to dinner at a Mexican food place. For those of you who don't know . . . I LOVE MEXICAN FOOD! I could eat it all day, ever day. yum yum yum. I hadn't eaten anything else that day besides a hard boiled egg and some saltines. so it was much needed. It was so nice of Tracy to take care of me and make sure I was ok. She is a friend that I will be keeping around for a long long time to come.
I pleasantly surprised at the outpouring of people and their prayers for Brad and I to get through this. I know I am strong and confident and we WILL make it through this, it's just learning to adjust to life without him here. The house is quite. thank goodness I don't live in the house alone. It's comforting to hear Rachel and Juanica leave for school and work, Rachel coming home for lunch and when they come home at night. It gives me a sense of peace that I'm not alone.
School has been amazing for me. It's kept me busy and on my toes. It forces me to do something and get out of the house. I have given myself till Monday to be sad, eat whatever I want and do anything. Then Monday, I stop being sad ( although I WILL have my days of being sad ), start eating healthy and use my free membership at the YMCA! :) I have 6 months to get back into shape.

Many people have made sure I was ok, checked on me and told me that if I need them, to call them. well . . . I'll take every one of them up on their offer! :-)
My friend from church, Kyla, text me this afternoon saying that she got off work early and wanted to stop by and say hi. Turns out, she had bought me a dozen yellow roses. what a sweetheart! She made me cry. They are absolutely beautiful.
Nicole has also been amazing. We could talk for hours if we didn't have anything else to do. I love our relationship.

Life is hard because Brad is gone, but that doesn't mean that I need to be sad and mopey. Crying won't bring him back. Being sad wont bring him back sooner either. Giving myself things to do will bring him back sooner.

I will see Brad in 6ish months when we meet up for our 1 year anniversary in IRELAND! His 2 week leave is right around that time in march and it's less travel time for him to go there than come home. So why not take our honeymoon/1yr anniversary/2 week leave/bday bash in Ireland. I'll be pinching my pennies to make this work.

How exciting!

A big change is about to happen

The going away ceremony and family picnic came and went very quickly today. The FRG has been planning this event since the end of June and beginning of July. We were in charge of lots of details from donated food, to things for the children to do and where to have it.
Brad and I were privileged to see Don and Ferol one more time before Brad left and it was very nice to see them and have their support.

I was very pleasantly surprised to see the turn out from the families of soldiers at both events. Ferol teared up a few times at the ceremony and when she and I said our good-bye at the park. Brad took his parents to the airport so they could rent a car to drive home and she broke down a few times there as well. I don't blame her though.
I'm not sure what Tuesday morning hold for me. I think it's going to be harder than I think to say good-bye to this man that I love so darn much. It'll be hard to give him away and know but know that he will come back to me in one piece. He is going over with some truly amazing people that I know will keep him out of harms way.
It was said many times today that the families that get left behind have the hardest job because they have to maintain life on the home front. Where as the soldiers just have to report at the right time and wear the right uniform. Yes, they are away from home and don't have any power over what happens here, but I think being left behind is hard as well.
Brad has been amazing with making sure that I have all of the tools to get things done here, bank information, car insurance information and what not. It's not that I am incapable of doing it, but I think it gives him a piece of mind knowing that he is providing the information for me. One less thing for ME to worry about.
One of the soldiers pulled some strings with the Billings airport and families are now invited to see the 592nd off on their plane to New Jersey. I have to drop Brad off at the unit at 6 am Tuesday and see him again around 9 am at the airport.
This will be the last time for the next 6 or 7 months that I will get to hug him, kiss him, hold his hand and whisper in his ear. Kinda sad. Needless to say, I WILL NOT be going to school that day.
I have moments of jealousy of other wives that I know that get to see their husbands every night. Get to sleep next to them every night and live day to day lives with them. Then I start to think clearly and remember that WE signed up for the Army and knew what we were getting into. There was always the reality of being deployed, but now that it's a mere 1 day away, its too close. Where did our 6 week go? It seems like it was yesterday that I was picking him up from the unit coming home from new jersey.

On a more positive note I will be very busy with school and the FRG. There are a few perks ( if you will ) of Brad being deployed. I get a free gym membership at the YMCA, so I plan on taking advantage of that. I've fallen back on my eating well routine and it caught up with me! :(
I am having a Lia Sophia jewelry party on October 14th, my beautiful cousin Rachel gets married November 6th in Colorado, and I get to go home from Christmas to see my great family and friends. I also MIGHT get the chance of going to Seattle again in January courtesy of the Army for some training. That'd be pretty sweet.
A few months of slowing down and nothing planned then Brad and I plan to meet in Ireland for his 6 month leave, which is around our 1 year anniversary. The Irelands will be going to Ireland. :) Pretty freakin excited for that.

For now, I just have to take each day slow and know that this deployment will go fast.
Its been about a year now that Brad has lived over here.
A year since we drove him over here.
The day before Halloween will be 1 year since he proposed.
Where has this year gone?
It's gone by real quick . . . so lets hope this next year goes by at hyper speed.
I'm sure I'll be blogging more after he leaves. I'll be keeping my head up.
Thank you everyone for your on-going support of the both of us. It means the world to have wonderful people in our lives! :)

First day of big kid school

I attended my first day of big kid school today. Or as most people like say it is, MSU-B! :-) I am taking Biology, Political science, math and a health class every Wednesday night from 6-9! I really enjoy my biology teacher. My Political science professor is a little odd, but that might be because he had the stomach flu today and didn't feel 100%. My math teacher is my pastor from church, so I already know him. He's a pretty cool guy!
I only have health every Wednesday night and before I went I was dreading it. But tonight's class was pretty fun. We had good conversation. there are only 10 of us in there, so it should make for a pretty sweet semester.

I already have math homework. I did some when I got home from school this afternoon, but I still have some to over come. Not excited for that. Although, it's a pretty sweet schedule. MWF biology, political science. MTWTH math. W health. So that means tmrw I don't have to be at school till 11. Pretty nice.

So that's my update for now. School was sweet. I enjoyed getting off my butt and doing something. I hope this semester goes well . ..

here is to hoping.

shooting.

As scary as it looks, it was pretty stinkin fun. :-) I'm pretty proud of myself.

Ireland Family reunion

Our first night there, we had this wonderful view from the back porch. Greg had commented that a shepherd was being born there. It looked pretty biblical.






Ireland Men . . . all grown up.







Brad and I made it safely to and from Bozeman for the wonderful family reunion. It is the last time all 3 of the Ireland boys will be together for the next year, as Brad leaves in 12 days for his 400 day deployment. :( We had an amazing time though. Couldn't have asked for a better time spent with my new family.
We all got to know Kaley a little better, to spend time with the newest Ireland, Jadon Gregory, and have some pretty cool conversations with Esther!

The plan was that each night, one Ireland 'newly wed' was to make dinner. Greg and Christine made very tasty enchiladas and we had a mexican theme for the night.








Tim and Kaley did kabobs and was Hawaiian. They got Esther a little Hawaiian skirt to hula in to set the mood. Greg and Brad wanted to show her how to dance in it.





Brad and I were supposed to do BBQ chicken, or ribs or pizza, but we were having too much fun at Yellowstone and we had to postpone that. All well. More tasty bbq sauce for Brad and I! :-)




It's becoming the harsh reality now that Brad is indeed going to be leaving. We are starting to go through the banks and how to log into them. What bills to pay and when. What to do in certain situations if they come up. I know that I can take care of myself, but life is easier in general with someone else to make sure you are doing it right.
I know for certain I will be leaning on a few of my close friends for advice or just for ears to listen to me. I would like to think that I am prepared for the worst, but I'm not.
The first few weeks will be easier than I think, as Brad will only be in new jersey for a few weeks, then Kentucky. But after he leaves Kentucky, its real life and I'm not ready for it. I'm not emotionally ready for my husband to leave and to be in a combat zone. But we both knew that upon him joining the army, it would be a reality.

On kind of a cool note, the 592nd for a spot in the local Billings news tonight thanks to yours truly. :-)
Brad and I watched the 10 o'clock news last night and they mentioned the National Guard and the Air National Guard deploying to Irag and Afghanistan, but nothing about our little billings unit.
So i shot them an email, and not more than an hour went by and I got a response. They didn't know that they were leaving because I guess the hire-ups usually inform the media of deployments. They however told me that they would get a hold of the 592nd today to get the proper information and would get the story taken care of.
So Brad and I turned on the 5 o'clock news tonight and by golly, we were mentioned. :-) Props to the KULR-8 news team for taking care of this promptly.

Volcanic weekend

Brad and I wanted to do something special for our 5 month anniversary since it'll be the last one we have till our 1 year. The idea for our 1 year is to meet up in Ireland for his 2 weeks of leave that he'll get. Fingers crossed that it will all work out.
So Brad wanted to do a day trip to Yellowstone, but I don't think you can do yellowstone in one day. So we found a cheap motel and decided the next morning to get up and go. It's a beautiful drive down to yellowstone and the towns surrounding the north entrance are really kind of cool.
As soon as we got into the park we saw some animals on the hills and got our picture taken at the 45th parallel.


The story behind this is that when we first were dating Brad took me to Colorado to go snowboarding and visit his brother Greg. I guess it's a thing we do. :-)


The last time Brad had been to Yellowstone he went to the firehole river. Its fed by the hot springs, so the water is warmer than you'd expect. We found it and luckily found a parking spot quick enough. It was a very popular place to be.





We ate some lunch and ventured up to where people were jumping into the rapids and floating down. Little kids were doing it, older guys were doing it. Other women were doing it, but I was having a hard time rationalizing jumping in. After Brad had jumped a few times and he peer pressured me into jumping and it was soo scary. But I did it and he now can't say I didn't jump. We floated down the river a little bit and while we were swimming I kicked a rock with my foot. dumb idea, but I didn't see the rocks down below. We then floated down a little bit and discovered why no one was floating down that way. The current was really strong and it took Brad down the river a little. It then took me and it was the scariest thing I've been through. I cut my foot open while being pulled down the river. It sucked. Worst part of the trip. Brad took care of me though. We got to the side of the river and he went and got my flip flops. We made it up the car and Brad cleaned me up. It was hard to walk after that, but I was glad I brought my tennis shoes.







After all of this, we arrived at Old Faithful.












We walked around a little and saw some other geysers and hot springs while we waited for Old Faithful to go off.










Ventured to the hotel and got a beer and watched Old Faithful go off! It was quite the show.

















It was a long day and we were on our way to West Yellowstone when this big buffalo decided to stop traffic.










It was pretty cool to see up close and personal.










We found our little motel and walked down the street to find something to eat. Brad really wanted to take me to Bull-winkles because he had fond memories of it. So we did that or our anniversary dinner. On the way back to the motel, this fish jumped out at me!






The next day we took slow.





Went to gushers for a late breakfast and early lunch.





Very good. Don had suggested that we go there . . . thank you Don!





On our way out the East Entrance we saw some cool things.





Drove by yellowstone lake . . . saw some more buffalo.




















OH! I saw my moose! I totally forgot!






We drove past this real pretty part of the lake and took a picture! One of my favorites.








I took this picture from under the sun roof.




It turned out pretty cool!

























Driving out of yellowstone there was a controlled burn that we drove by.
We went through a tunnel and then drove through wyoming on our way home to billings.
We drove through Cody and then finally home.
It was very nice to come home and sleep in our own bed.

Life Changes

Since March 20th I've gone through a few major life changes. I got married and that's a big thing. I also moved to a different state without knowing anyone but my husband. I am very fortunate for the people who have taken me under their wings and grown into friends. It's those friends that I want to keep around. My wonderful husband is also being deployed come september, so I will have to learn to go through life for a year without him by my side. Most of my friends understand this hard time in my life and are there for me. I am so very thankful for these friends. I hope they know who they are and hopefully understand how much they mean to me!
But it's those friends who are having a hard time understanding these life changes that frustrate me. I thought I knew these people and they'd be there for me, regardless that I now life 800 miles away from seattle. I guess I didn't know them as well as I thought.

These life changes however have made me see things a little clearer. The friends that I thought I wouldn't be close with again are reoccurring in my life and I love it. I guess I need to re-define close friends. I knew these people were close to me at a certain time in my life, but they had faded away. Now that we are in similar parts of our life, we can relate and it's wonderful. I am rejoicing in it.

My in-laws have told me that you lose friends at 2 times in your life. Once when you get married because your 'single' friends can't comprehend the new priorities in life. The second is when you have children because its the same 'single' friends ( if they are still around ) and the married friends that don't have kids yet, that don't understand the same thing. Priorities.

So I am decided this:
I am not going to feel bad for spending every waking moment with my husband. He is my best friend. He loves me for who I am and wants to make my life better, not worse. He is there for me in my time of need. He is an amazing person and I am not going to be punished for spending time with him.

On a much happier and positive note . . .

In the time that he's been home we haven't had much down time. He arrived home on Monday afternoon and we had to get up early Tuesday morning to be back at the unit for his SRP! The SRP are like medical days. They get shots, update their folders, talk financial and what not.
I am involved in the FRG, Family Readiness Group, for the unit so we sell concessions and organize events for soldiers and families, deployed or not. Every drill weekend, we do concessions and get to meet the soldiers so they know who we are and what we do and stand for. We did concessions for the SRP both Tuesday and wednesday ALL DAY LONG. We set up at 6:30 because first formation was at 7 and we didn't leave each day till around 5:30 after final formation to be dismissed. We sold pizza ( lots of it ) and made sure the soldiers were updated on our paperwork to contact families. It's tiring to do that. Thursday morning we had to be there early as well because they had other classes they had to sit through. That morning wasn't quite as long, but I am sick of being at the unit. At least we got to sleep in this morning, but I had to meet Rachel, the FRG leader, at the Shrine to make sure the Yellow Ribbon stuff was getting taken care of. Yellow Ribbon is an event that the FRG SHOULDN'T have had to put on but there was a HUGE miscommunication, so now we got stuck with doing it. And by we, I mean Rachel, myself and a few others. It's meant to get families ready for deployment and what life will be like, what to expect and how to get by. I'm looking forward to it. I am also looking forward to it being done! :) It's been harder and more time consuming that I thought it'd be.
Its usually a 7 part series, and parts 3 and 4 are rumored to be in SEATTLE!! L :) that'd be freakin awesome!
I got to go to LA for a weekend for a training on how the FRG should run. It was very informative, but the best part was getting to go to the ocean. I was craving the ocean noise and the cool touch of the water! It was great. I'll be sure to put up pictures sooner than later.